Whoa! It's Been a While!

Wow. I am a baaaaad blogger! I suppose it's good in a way... it means I've been doing other stuff beside sitting at the computer feeling sorry for myself. 

Things are going well, meaning I've taken up my art again. Sewing is challenging... what with all the threading needles and such, but luckily the bulk of my work is using larger needles and embroidery floss. I have the computer set up with large letters on the keyboard and I can zoom in on almost anything by clicking Ctrl and the Up arrow, which has been invaluable for graphic designing and printing notecards. So far I haven't found anything in the house that I can't do... key words being "in the house."   

Unfortunately, I've been struggling outside of the house. I do so well inside I convince myself that I'll be equally at ease outdoors doing things like driving or "just running in" for something. Then, after leaving the house, I get hit with reality - I can't drive, I can't "just run in," I can't see. Inside I'm familiar with everything. I know where everything is. And the walls make finite scenery. Outside the wide open space makes me dizzy and anxious which I try to calm by looking at my feet or at the pavement just in front of where I'm walking. 

A couple times I convinced myself that I was ok to drive. I haven't driven since April. Driving is one of my favorite things to do and I HATE not having the freedom to go where I want when I want. I believe if I concentrated real hard I'd be able to drive... but it'd have to be in bright weather and in medium traffic. I haven't given it a go yet. Husband doesn't think it's a good idea.


I almost got on transit... if walking 50 feet toward the bus stop counts. I hated transit before all this... I don't think this is going to make me love it. 


Shopping takes forever. Instead of scanning a wall and grabbing what I need, I have to search item by item, holding them close to my eyes. The days of "running in" are over except for the obvious bread, milk, and other familiar items.


So I stay in the house, where I'm safe and in control. Husband and I have started taking walks which we hope will me get used to being outside the house (as well as help with the weight loss). 


I hope it doesn't come across like I'm complaining, because I'm not. I'm thankful that my eyesight isn't getting any worse. If anything I'm just frustrated and disappointed. 


Enough whining... as for my diet, I'm down 44lbs. and doing well. I love fitting into clothes that I haven't worn in ages! I have a doctor appointment with my ophthalmologist October 5th. We'll see if I still need to take the spinal fluid reducing pills and how my eyes are looking! 


Again, I hate asking but, there is still an outstanding balance for my surgery (approximately $2,000). I know money doesn't grow on trees, but if you can donate a couple bucks it'd be greatly appreciated! If you want something for your money, feel free to peruse my SHOP. And I absolutely adore a challenge so if you want a custom order, feel free to contact me at kaoticekko [at] gmail [dot] com!


I thank everyone for their amazing support!


♠ ♣ ♥ ♦ Yes I'm in the shop, but so are fine vintage sports cars! You still can buy amazing things by checking out my SHOP and these other fine establishments:
Plastic Wrap, Trap Door, and Ransack the Universe! All awesome and all in TO!
I'm even managing to do some shows! Check out The World Domination Schedule on my art blog We're All A Little Mad Here to find out where I'll be!
Anyway, I'm lurking. Thanks for all the support! You all ROCK!
Creepily yours,
Mel
Melissa Hamel-Smith:
Owner and Artist of Kaotic Ekko's Curiosities